day of guy cheer

"Do women really want our opinion of the way they look? Look at the way we dress, we wear skirts."

"My God did you move into the gym?!?!?!?!"

"Who doesn't like chinese food?"

adam smith

"He didn't know people run companies and they are evil and greedy."

talking to dillion after dilllion made a joke about rice

"Asians have been around alot longer...you're the one with the funny accents."

bees are cool enough to give you a warning

"If a bee hits you turn around, its not worth it..."

"It's a donkey dude not a velociraptor."

"There's a petting zoo near big bear that I like. Petting zoos scare kids."

not nishi related

lol so because ive just been posting so much at the moment my blog just asked me to type a code in to prove im not a robot "Please prove you're not a robot. Since you have made a large number of posts today, please prove that you are not a robot by entering the words below."

"You're offensive."

"The opposite of progress would be I don't know...anitprogress."

actual advice

never buy a house with an adjustable rate mortgage

funny

"Hey were here. In the dark." "Cool. Come towards us, were in the light."

talking about his shoes

"These are crushed velvet.Their beautiful."

speaking to his daughter

"Be careful what you for you might end up 6' 8"." *my boyfriend is that tall...* XD

"I hate snow boarders. they just lay there when they crash. It's like dude move."

realization

"I'm not 16 anymore."

true story

"I've had a desk thrown at me...it was by a girl."

"That would be pretty funny....we'd probably get beat to death..."

marines...

"There's four of them. Who's gonna mess with them? You gotta be an idiot. You gotta be an idiot. You gotta tell by the hair cut don't mess with them."

hahahhaha how mean

"Who the h*** would mate with you."

"Leslie is a girls name, unless your a football player."

"I'm not saying he won because of this name, but he won because of his name."

sally mae is back...

"I hate sally mae."

Timmy and Lyndon sitting next to each other...

"Oh c*** which one's which?! Just kidding."

lol

"If your house catches on fire and it's not your water heater, it's a meth house."

"I miss her, she's sassy."

funny conversation he told us about

"Oh your name, is that Japanese?" - random guy "Yea, it is." - Nishi "You don't look Japanese." - random guy "You don't look smart." - Nishi

some random futuristic story he predicted will happen to us...

"I can't get this song out of my head!" - some random teenager "Iknow! You should've got vaccinated for that!" - Nishi

"Hahaha, shut up."

"Shoot that fhhh-"

One of the most useful things he's ever said...

"Know this going in...People don't change! If you go into a relationship remember that. That's the best advice I could tell you."

"He's doing it right."

"Oh no! It's buffering!"

Robert F. Kennedy challenges Gross Domestic Product

"If it seems to be too good to be true it probably is."

"Asian women - What?"

"They explode above the earth and it rains down nuclear death."

"He doesn't like me because I'm better looking than him."

"I didn't know the Philippines were that close, let's have a road trip!"

"Fish net stockings....who wears that?"

just good advice

always choose principal

"You don't need a chainsaw to scare people."

"When in doubt draw it out. Hey I like that."

cre-vaaa-s-is

"Crevasses...it's french for giant hole in the ground."

the factory...

"No one buys Doritos from the Doritos' factory...they're going to look at you funny and say why are you here?" 0.o

exceptions...

"Easy peasy Japaneasy. Well I'm Japanese so I'm allowed to say that."

the truth

"You're all replaceable."

referring to the rodney king trial

"I'm not sure what the Koreans had to do with it...Nothing that's what they had to do with it! Biggest joke ever!" *im still slightly confused about the rodney king trial and koreans...*

that darn sally mae...

"I like bills! Send me bills!"

"I used to steal license plates when I was young....only the personalized ones...."

trying to sound gangster

"I'm gonna p**** off the boss because she's all up in my kool aid."

said when a random girl came to look for her phone....

"I can make people feeel bad but I don't want to. I'll do it behind her back." >=)

"Gotta go fishing...stupid fence in the way..."

"We're making two things: Guns & Butter."

pretty much an interesting way to make money....

"there should be a city called heaven....Heavens in California....send in a dollar when you write your loved one a letter..."

said in a sad story....

"They don't own a vacuum.Who doesn't own a vacuum?"

to his wife...

"After the zombie apocalypse I'm eating you first."

"Is that liquor?!"

"I can build ikea furniture, I can build anything."